Relationships

Navigating Three Partners

‚ÄčI often say the words “one of my partners…” which is usually met with some confusion. After all, most people aren’t so off hand with such a declaration, having more than one is cheating! Isn’t it?

Image of heart in poly flag colours with trans symbols coming off of it. Text reads

If you’ve ever read my blog before, especially if you read my post a while back when I came out as polyamorus, you’ll know that I don’t agree. I am 23 years old and I have 3 partners. This is not me being greedy (my greed is unrelated to my being polyam!) this is just something about who I am. I do not feel limited to love only one person in my life, my partner’s are all aware of this and they too feel the same. 

Being polyamorus is not a lifestyle choice to me, it is just part of who I am. But how do I manage to deal with three separate partners? Honestly I ask myself the same question sometimes! 

I try to organise my life a lot. It doesn’t always go to plan, but I aim to. You may have seen my posts a little while ago about the bullet journal, and how it works for me. I am still using this system (one of my partner’s, Panda, does too!) and I find it super helpful. Alongside this though, I also use my calendar on my phone, which serves as a method of communication between my partners and I.  

Tyler and I have individual calendars which we share with each other, and I am always up for doing this with others too, as it makes organising dates so much easier. I put everything in the calendar, my work, my volunteering, and even my dates. This way others can see if I am busy or not, and stuff like planning future outings and such is much simpler!

In my journal, everyone has a colour code, then at a glance I can see who I am seeing when – and if I need to schedule some time with anyone being left behind!

My other partner Kasey lives up in Scotland, so I don’t actually get to see them very often, but we occasionally video chat (something we need to do again soon now I think about it) and I put this in the diary and calendar too. 

Spending time with all of my partners around work and other commitments isn’t always easy. But the plus side of polyam is that I don’t singularly depend on just one person all of the time, unlike some monogamous relationships (I say some as I know not all are this way).

Being polyam gives me more freedom to express myself in different ways, to flirt with people I want to flirt with, to explore new friendships and more with people I’d like to do so with, and more than anything it makes me happy.

This won’t be the last post I make on polyam, in fact I have a few in the pipeline, but I hope you enjoyed this and potentially either learnt something new, or found something that helps you understand more about yourself. Do leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of it if you’d like, or get in contact with me on social media or through my contact page.

Stay tuned for more updates on my life! 

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