Holding On

When they first come out, a lot of people tend to get rid of old clothes, old memories, photos, the works. But the thing is that it isn’t needed, despite what the initial instinct says.

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I got rid of a lot of stuff, or put it deep away in draws and cupboards. I didn’t want to see photos of me before, I didn’t want to have reminders of being ‘female’ that might give others pause to question my identity. I even created a new Facebook account.

But a few years later I realised that I missed a lot of that and I didn’t need to get rid of it all. I mean, a lot of the clothes wouldn’t fit me now (not only have I gained weight, I have also got broader shoulders and a different fat make up now due to testosterone), but stuff like my toys, I still love them. I am a hoarder anyway, I would love to keep everything, and a lot of it I am probably best to have gotten rid of regardless. But that is beside the point.

When people come out there is an assumption that everything about them will change. In the grand scheme of things, the main thing that changes is their mental health. People often become happier, being themselves to the rest of the world. But aside from that, and maybe physical changes, they are still the same person.

I know I became more confident when I came out but that didn’t stop me loving musicals, animals, and cheesy pop songs. A lot of people struggle to hold on to what they had before simply because they feel unable to, like society won’t let them.

To those people, I say ignore society. Societal expectations are sometimes the most damaging things that are out there and more people need to realise that. Hold onto yourself, don’t feel pressured to learn all there is to know about the F1, just because you identify as male, if you weren’t interested before, you don’t have to be now. The same holds for any identity, don’t feel pressured into liking something you have no interest in just to please others. It really won’t help you feel happier.

H

 

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4 comments

  1. I love how you ended this post! I wish more people had the courage not to be pushed to think they should be a certain way or do a certain thing because of society. I see it starting to play out in little ways in my daughters worlds – not at the level you are describing of course – but in the little ways life tries to prescribe the way they are “supposed to” be. I try to tell them they can like what – and who – they want to like (even if their friends don’t) and I see them starting to question me on that because even at their young age they feel those multiple little pressures which tell them it isn’t that simple and easy to be bravely yourself all the time.

    Like

    • Thank you Louise, it means a lot. It happens so much with children, that’s where it all starts. There is so much pressure put on people, and it is hard to stop, even when you see it happening before your eyes. The only way you can help stem the flow is by arguing back against it. Show people that you don’t have to be the same as what society says.

      Liked by 1 person

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