I have done many posts on non-binary identities, and I even did a post or two last year on the topic. Today though I want to talk about the fluidity of gender on its own. This doesn’t even necessarily have to be in relation to being non-binary, though it is a big part of it.
Life doesn’t stand still. It doesn’t stay the same. People don’t all stand still. People don’t stay the same. Why then do we assume gender does?
Gender is on a big spectrum, it is wide and varied, and some people don’t even fit on there all together. There are way too many individuals on this planet to even begin to comprehend the idea that everyone experiences gender in the same way. The idea of a binary has always confused me anyway, no two people identify in the same way, how on earth do we expect people to conform to just two gender options?
When I was younger I liked playing with Barbie’s, I liked playing with my Polly Pockets, I enjoyed playing dress up. As I got older I decided this was too uncool, I couldn’t do all that stuff. I got told I was not quite a girly girl, but I also wasn’t a tomboy. I didn’t fit the binary of how they referenced what girls were like either.
The older I got the more I changed. I became in love with computers – something not many ‘girls’ were into. I was one of only three girls in my computing class and I was always told that I acted more like a man. I still thought I was a girl though.
When I realised my gender identity, it made more sense, I didn’t fit into female. Then when I realised there was more than just male and female, things fit into place. I varied between things I liked. I didn’t always like to do girl things, I didn’t also like to do boy things. I still am the same.
I love wearing nail polish, makeup, and occasionally high heels. I also love having a nice short haircut, and feeling the freshness of a short back and sides. I love being a hairy bear (well, cub, I am still too young to be classed as a bear), I love having a flat chest. But I am not a man. I don’t feel like a man. I also don’t feel like a woman.
I am a fluid human being. I don’t fit the binary, I don’t stand still. Nor do a lot of other people in this world.
Gender is a spectrum, as is sexuality. Nobody should feel they have to be confined to just one or the other. As one of my favourite songs says, “we are bigger than a hexadecimal”*, and that should always be remembered.
*Song is Binary, by The Spook School