The Ally Cookie

Allies are great. They make you feel safe in your skin, like you don’t have to worry so much when around them based on your attributes (for the sake of this blog right now we will say gender). They are lovely (nine times out of ten).

But they aren’t deserving of a cookie.

ATheAllyCookie

Sorry allies, but no cookies for you. I know this is probably not the best way to start my A-Z challenge, by saying you don’t deserve anything special for being a decent human being, but it is true. Why should you get praised for being an ally? Why should you get praised for treating us the same as everyone else should be treated? Why should I bow down to you, just because you used the right pronoun and name for me? Why should I give you brownie points just for being nice to me?

The answer is that I shouldn’t, and you shouldn’t expect it either.

Being an ally means being a decent human. It means respecting people’s pronouns, their gender identities, their existence. The same way you would for a cis person.

Being an ally means standing up for my life. It means challenging people when you can, it means not standing for transphobia. It means using your privilege to tell people to shut up when they are being offensive or down right ignorant. Being an ally means constantly learning. It means giving us the space to talk and not talking for us, or worse, over us. Being an ally does not make you a perfect human being. It does not mean we need to bow down to you, to tell you that you make our lives fantastic. It doesn’t mean that you come first. It definitely doesn’t mean you are in the acronym as the ‘A’ (that’s asexual, agender etc, NOT ally).

Sorry allies but as much as I like most of you, you don’t get a cookie, unless I get one too!

A

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