The Death Card

I got my first set of Tarot cards for Christmas from Tyler, they were an unusual type, circular rather than rectangular, and they were actually pretty cool. My first set gave me a good overview of what Tarot is, and they really pulled me in to wanting more.

I now have a few different sets, and one thing I learnt through practising reading on myself was about the death card, and the true meaning behind it. I, like many others, had originally taken it to mean literal death. But looking further into it I realise that it is not the case. The death card signals new beginnings. It shows change. That really is the meaning of this blog post today. Change. Because right now, I am going through a lot of it!

Wednesday the 15th February I began a new chapter in my life. I handed in my notice at my current workplace, where I have been for just over a year, in favour of a new care home which is a mere ten minute walk from my flat. I was petrified.


I have just finished my last day today, and can honestly say I am petrified now! I really am excited, as it should be a good place, but at the same time I am sad to say goodbye.

I loved my job, I have said that many times before, my job meant the world to me. The people I work with on a day to day basis – staff and residents alike – have made this one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make in my life. I have grown attached, my heart is fully with them, but I had to think realistically about what is best for me.

The new job I am going to gives me much better career progression, it gives me the chance to live near to work which, with Tyler’s present health, is necessary and it means not paying for a bus ticket. The new place also gives me better hours for my time. It gives me easier access to pay (weekly rather than monthly) and overall it just all works a lot better.

I will be taking a pay cut with my new job, but that is okay. I needed to weigh up the best thing for me to do for myself. It really hasn’t been an easy decision.

I am looking at this as a fresh start. I will be taking all of my learning with me, the experience I have gained will be invaluable with my future work. I will also be taking my memories with me. I will never forget the people I have worked with, past and present, alive and dead, but I know this is ultimately going to be for the best.

Of course, I will still go back and visit! This is a given. I don’t think I’d have been allowed out by some people there without promising to come back to see them. I know you are not supposed to become attached in any way, but honestly I see that as impossible. You work with people on a daily basis, assisting them with their lives, there is going to be some form of rapport, of a bond, to be formed. I think that is okay, obviously as long as it doesn’t go beyond boundaries.

I guess I wanted to do this post to summarise how I am feeling right now about the direction my life is moving in. Tyler has now had top surgery, I am starting new work that will be better off for us all, and honestly I can say I am happier than I was five years ago.

I have been reading my tarot cards on a daily basis, especially with regards to my new workplace, and it has come out positive for me every time. I know I feel good about this. I am not going to go into it foolhardy and assume it will be fantastic – it may not – but I have a drive to make it work. I will make it work.


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