Blog Series, Life Hacks, Mental Health

Saying “No.”

Welcome to another in my Life Hacks series. Today I want to talk about how I am learning to say the simple word of “No.” 

It isn’t always easy, because a lot of the time we feel an obligation to others. But it is really important that we do it, for our own health and wellbeing. 

Image of lined paper. Text reads 'Life Hacks', 'Saying

I do a lot of stuff. Like, I volunteer in many many groups and am always doing extra, even when I shouldn’t be as I can’t fit the time in. I am sitting here writing this the night before it is coming out, with a raging migrane, as today I went out to London and volunteered my time to help make an 8ft mosaic for the Museum of Transology. I do not regret it one bit. But damn I am in so much pain right now. 

If you want something done, ask a busy person. 

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The quote is true. Busy people are the ones most likely to agree to do stuff for you, as often they feel they have the time. I personally like to do a lot as it keeps me busy, but often I do it to the detriment of my own health. Right now I should still be resting after surgery, but, instead, this whole week I have things planned. 

When I have stuff going on in my real life, I try to stay as busy as I can to avoid talking about it or doing anything about it. I throw myself into other things, deal with other people’s problems, other projects, make myself useful in other ways. But honestly it doesn’t help. 

Sometimes what you need to do is take a step back. Sometimes you need to learn to say the word “No.” 

“No, I can’t help in the kitchen tomorrow.”

“No, I can’t help with your essay.”

“No, I need to focus on me right now.”

Sometimes you have to put your needs first and that is not a bad thing. Sometimes you need to think for yourself and worry about your needs, your tasks. 

Take some time off, have some alone time with yourself. Perhaps you are neglecting your relationship because there is something that you aren’t comfortable with. Confront it. Speak to your partner(s). Perhaps you need to look for a new job but keep putting it off in hopes this one will get better, even though you know it won’t. Confront it. Go online and start searching for a new place, go into places and enquire about jobs. 

Or perhaps you just need to rest. Do it. Take a week off and spend time with you. Get to know yourself again. Have a lie in. Read a book. Do the things you enjoy for you. You’d be surprised how much it could help. 

Sometimes you need to say “No.” Sometimes you need to do things for you. Do it. I am slowly learning to and it is scary as hell, but do it. 

If you liked this piece, please show your appreciation and give it a ‘like’, and even a rating if you want! What do you think about saying “No.”? Is it something that you find easy to do? Do you stay busy to avoid your own worries? Let me know in the comments or contact me on social media, I will always reply. 

Also if there is anything else you would like me to cover on my blog, do the same thing, leave a comment on a post, message me through the contact page, or contact me through social media! I am always up for ideas! 

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