I have a lot of strange dreams. A lot. I am not just talking slightly out of the ordinary here, I mean really strange. I once filled a whole A4 page (margins and every white space filled) with details of one of my dreams.
The one I want to talk about today though links in with my gender, and oddly enough… the title of this post actually is related.
Bare with me.
I think I was around 6 or 7 when I had the dream, I was quite young. I have no idea what brought on the squirrel idea, for all I know I may have just spotted one in the street but, for whatever reason, I held onto it when night time came around.
So the dream occured as thus. I went to sleep, and during my dream, I got up in the middle of the night. When I got up, I opened my eyes and standing in front of me was a 6 foot squirrel. It wasn’t especially scary, I don’t even think I batted an eyelid, but there it was, a giant squirrel standing in my bedroom. I spoke to him a little, we had a small chat, and then I had to excuse myself, I really needed to pee.
Now at the house I grew up in, we had an upstairs and a downstairs toilet. My room was right next door to the upstairs one but often if it was really late at night I would go downstairs to pee, just so I didn’t wake up my mum who’s door was opposite. The downstairs toilet was just past the back door (in the back portch), and so was always incredibly cold.
So I excused myself and went downstairs to go to the loo, I unlocked the door, and quietly went into the toilet. Now for some reason, I instictively stood up, and bam, I pulled out my penis. I didn’t even bat an eyelid. I went to the toilet, and then went back upstairs and spoke some more to the squirrel. Then he said something about being sorry, which I didn’t think much of, and I went to sleep.
Now I am sure we have all had those dreams where we have woken up convinced they really happened. I was 6 years old. I didn’t think about the fact that a giant squirrel wasn’t normal. But when I woke up I was pretty disappointed not to find him in my kitchen eating breakfast. I didn’t say anything to my mum, I just figured he’d gone out or something, he’d be back later.
It was only when I went for a pee after breakfast that I started to panic. My penis was gone! I was shocked, the dream the night before had seemed so real and so right that I hadn’t really thought much about it and I had forgotten that to start with, I wasn’t given a willy. But I freaked out. I was supposed to have one! It was right then that I realised. Suddenly I was mad.
The squirrel stole my nuts!
I hope you enjoyed that story. I wish I could say it was made up, but I never did understand why I was so happy to have a willy as a little girl. Now I know of course and I laugh at that dream every time. The waking up disappointed happened a few times growing up, but I never clicked as to why and I thought I was just so strange so barely commented about it. It’s only now of course after I came out that I realise why it made me so happy to have one and I wish even now that the dream had been reality – if only because bottom surgery is so complicated that it would make things easier!
It wasn’t the only trans related dream I had as a kid, but it was the one that sticks out most over all of them. I might do another one at some point, or at least another edition of weird dreams. So tell me, what did you think of it? Should I retell them more often? This is by far not one of my weirdest dreams, so I can assure you there could be stranger if you wanted! Let me know in the comments what you thought.