The squirrel stole my nuts

I have a lot of strange dreams. A lot. I am not just talking slightly out of the ordinary here, I mean really strange. I once filled a whole A4 page (margins and every white space filled) with details of one of my dreams.

The one I want to talk about today though links in with my gender, and oddly enough… the title of this post actually is related.

Bare with me.

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Damn you squirrel!

I think I was around 6 or 7 when I had the dream, I was quite young. I have no idea what brought on the squirrel idea, for all I know I may have just spotted one in the street but, for whatever reason, I held onto it when night time came around.

So the dream occured as thus. I went to sleep, and during my dream, I got up in the middle of the night. When I got up, I opened my eyes and standing in front of me was a 6 foot squirrel. It wasn’t especially scary, I don’t even think I batted an eyelid, but there it was, a giant squirrel standing in my bedroom. I spoke to him a little, we had a small chat, and then I had to excuse myself, I really needed to pee.

Now at the house I grew up in, we had an upstairs and a downstairs toilet. My room was right next door to the upstairs one but often if it was really late at night I would go downstairs to pee, just so I didn’t wake up my mum who’s door was opposite. The downstairs toilet was just past the back door (in the back portch), and so was always incredibly cold.

So I excused myself and went downstairs to go to the loo, I unlocked the door, and quietly went into the toilet. Now for some reason, I instictively stood up, and bam, I pulled out my penis. I didn’t even bat an eyelid. I went to the toilet, and then went back upstairs and spoke some more to the squirrel. Then he said something about being sorry, which I didn’t think much of, and I went to sleep.

Now I am sure we have all had those dreams where we have woken up convinced they really happened. I was 6 years old. I didn’t think about the fact that a giant squirrel wasn’t normal. But when I woke up I was pretty disappointed not to find him in my kitchen eating breakfast. I didn’t say anything to my mum, I just figured he’d gone out or something, he’d be back later.

It was only when I went for a pee after breakfast that I started to panic. My penis was gone! I was shocked, the dream the night before had seemed so real and so right that I hadn’t really thought much about it and I had forgotten that to start with, I wasn’t given a willy. But I freaked out. I was supposed to have one! It was right then that I realised. Suddenly I was mad.

The squirrel stole my nuts!

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My reaction to no nuts

I hope you enjoyed that story. I wish I could say it was made up, but I never did understand why I was so happy to have a willy as a little girl. Now I know of course and I laugh at that dream every time. The waking up disappointed happened a few times growing up, but I never clicked as to why and I thought I was just so strange so barely commented about it. It’s only now of course after I came out that I realise why it made me so happy to have one and I wish even now that the dream had been reality – if only because bottom surgery is so complicated that it would make things easier!

It wasn’t the only trans related dream I had as a kid, but it was the one that sticks out most over all of them. I might do another one at some point, or at least another edition of weird dreams. So tell me, what did you think of it? Should I retell them more often? This is by far not one of my weirdest dreams, so I can assure you there could be stranger if you wanted! Let me know in the comments what you thought.

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3 comments

  1. I have more or less had that exact dream. Not with the squirrel, but about having a penis. Specifically having sex with my penis. Not ‘having sex with’ my penis. I mean, using my penis to have sex. Dagnabbit. You know what I mean!

    The words ‘sex’ and ‘penis’ have started to lose all meaning for me now. By the way, thank you for helping me shop for my penis. You sex god. Penis penis sex sex penis.

    Like

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